


Rey Kanata's Diary

by lalaitskelcey



Category: Bridget Jones's Diary - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Humor, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Bridget Jones Diary AU, F/M, HEA, Minor Poe Dameron/Rey, Misunderstandings, No Pregnancy, Oral Sex, Rey ties Ben’s hands but that’s it, Rey was adopted by Maz, Under-negotiated Kink, Unsafe Sex, but Reylo is endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:54:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25982434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalaitskelcey/pseuds/lalaitskelcey
Summary: ‘Leave it to my mother to try and set me up with the last person I’d ever want to be with! I suppose there was a time I would’ve loved the idea, being with Ben Solo, back when I was a love sick teenager who gave up her virginity to the awkward sixteen year old son of Maz’s friends.’
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 16
Kudos: 85
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp, Let's Go to the Movies - Reylo Readers & Writers Prompt Exchange





	1. It’s been too long(actually, not long enough)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Somewhere_overthe_Reylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somewhere_overthe_Reylo/gifts).



> Wow, this was challenging to write! I waited way to long to get started, so sadly there is only one chapter for now. I’m not sure if this is my best work, so apologies maybe in advance? Please let me know what you think! 
> 
> (There is some Poe/Rey stuff in this chapter, but I mostly just skip over it.)

If someone had asked me as a teenager where I’d be when I was twenty-nine, I’d have guessed I was back in England, married and already a published author. But reality can be a real bitch. 

“Kanata! I need you to reschedule my meeting with Legacy.” Mothma says, as she hurries by my desk. “And please, grab me my usual from that place down the street.”

“Right away, ma’am.” I sigh and open my laptop back up. No big deal, I’ll just push my lunch back _again._

Mon Mothma isn’t that terrible of a boss, she just is very focused on her job. Which is a good thing, of course, she just comes off very brash and uncaring of other people around her. It took her a solid three months to actually remember my name. 

‘ _I could’ve sworn your name was Rachel. Are you sure it isn’t?’_

“Rey! What are you still doing here? It’s lunch time!” Poe plops himself down on my desk, looking down at me with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. 

“Duty calls.” I shrug, and try to look unaffected by the most gorgeous man in the office currently resting his shapely behind inches from my elbow. 

“Hey, just because Mothma survives on the tears of rejected authors doesn’t mean everyone else can. Go eat, I’ll cover for you with her.” He winks, and jumps down from my desk and heads into his office. 

God, that man has no right being so damn attractive. I grab my phone from my desk, and head toward the break room. There’s only a few people still in here, having quiet conversations amongst themselves. I grab my lunch from the fridge, and plop down in an empty armchair near the window. When I check my phone, I see I have several missed calls from my mother. She didn’t leave a message, so I’m hoping it wasn’t an emergency and could wait till dinner this evening. 

“Rey, there you are.” Jess says, settling down in the chair next to me. “I was beginning to think you weren’t eating lunch today.”

“You know how Mothma is.” I shrug and take a bite of my salad. 

“So guess what I heard?” I raise my eyebrow at her. “A certain someone’s assistant is sick and unable to make it to the conference in Coruscant this weekend.”

I gasp, causing me to choke on some of my salad. I hastily take a drink from my water bottle, looking at her with wide eyes. “You’re joking.” 

“Would I joke about something like this?” 

I sit back in my chair, “Has he found a replacement yet?” Jess just shakes her head, a smirk on her face. 

“I shouldn’t.” 

“Why not? You’ve had the hots for him since you started here!”

She’s right of course, but I also vowed after my last break up I would stop going after emotionally unavailable men, even if they radiated sex appeal. It never stopped me from fantasizing, of course, but actually showing interest and flirting back? 

“Oh come on, Rey. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“Come off it! He probably looks at half the people in the office like that.” 

“So? I know it’s been a while since you got laid anyways.”

“Shh! Do you mind?” I whisper, looking around and hoping no one heard her. “He hasn’t even asked me yet, you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself.”

But of course, when I got back from lunch, I had an email waiting for me. 

_Rey, you’d really be helping me out if you could accompany me this weekend to Chandrilla. I already cleared it with Mothma, and your room would be covered by the company. You don’t have to decide today, please just let me know by Thursday._

_Poe Dameron_

I sneak a glance at his office out of the corner of my eye, and he’s having an intense conversation with someone on the phone. 

Unfortunately, Jess is very right. The only action I’ve had in a few months was with my cheap vibrator, and even that was getting old. Literally, I think the motor is fried. 

__

“Rey! There you are. I’ve been trying to call you all day.”

“Mom, you know I was at work. And you didn’t leave a message, so I didn’t think it was important.”

Maz Kanata adopted me when I was five years old, and she was the best mom I could’ve asked for. She was a rather strange woman sometimes, but it was okay. She’s always worried that I work too much, though.

“Oh, I was cooking at the time and forgot about leaving a message. I was trying to make sure you were still coming to dinner. I invited some old friends.”

I hang up my coat and turn back toward her, “Who?”

“You remember Leia and Han, right? The Solos?” 

I feel my stomach drop, but will my face into neutrality. “Yeah, I remember them.”

“Well, Ben’s in town. I haven’t seen him since he was running around the house with you. I hope you don’t mind.” She smiles, a familiar gleam in her eyes.

‘Hope I don’t mind?’ Of course I mind! “I’m gonna freshen up a bit before dinner.” I turn and run up the stairs to my old bedroom, shutting the door and thumping my head against it.

Leave it to my mother to try and set me up with the _last_ person I’d ever want to be with! I suppose there was a time I would’ve loved the idea, being with Ben Solo, back when I was a love sick teenager who gave up her virginity to the awkward sixteen year old son of Maz’s friends. I had been expecting him to be my boyfriend afterwards, but I overheard him arguing with his parents one night, when I’d snuck out of the house to go see him. 

“ _It’s my life! I don’t care if she’s the daughter of one of your oldest friends, I don’t want to be with her!”_

I run over to my mirror and pull my hair out of the sloppy top knot, trying to style it somewhat artfully around my face. Show the prick what he had missed out on. I take a deep breath, and head back downstairs. 

“There you are! They’re here, I already showed them to the dining room, come along.” She ushers me ahead of her, and I make sure to keep my gaze on Ben’s parents. 

“Rey, look at you! All grown up.” Leia stands, walking around the table to give me a hug. She leans back and looks up at me with a smile. 

“Long time no see, kid.” Han stands beside his wife, and pats me on the shoulder. 

I smile at the both of them, and despite my best efforts, I make eye contact with Ben. He just nods at me, his lips pressed together, and I thank god he doesn’t get up. 

“Rey, would you mind helping me bring the food in?” Mom asks me. I nod and follow her to the kitchen.

“What the hell, mom!” I whisper, after the door swings shut behind me. 

She raises an eyebrow. “What? I knew if I told you beforehand you wouldn’t have come!”

“Obviously not! You know how I feel about Ben!”

“Darling, that was years ago! You never even told me what happened, but surely enough time has passed by now?” 

“If I never had to see him again, it would be too soon!”

“Oh, don’t be dramatic, Rey!” 

I just roll my eyes, and help her put the Alfredo into a serving dish. 

“Now, take that out there, and I expect you to be nice to Benjamin!”

I pick up the dish, muttering under my breath, “No promises.”

I push the door open with my shoulder, and set the food down on the table. Luckily Maz and Ben’s parents keep up the conversation for most of dinner, until it shifts onto me. 

“So Rey, you’re working at Republic publishing right? How do you like it?”

I clear my throat before answering. “It’s good. I really enjoy my work. I’m assisting Mon Mothma right now, and I hope to become an agent in a few years.”

Leia smiles, “That’s wonderful. Doesn’t Poe Dameron work there as well?”

I nod, leaning back in my chair, “Yeah, he’s great. I really admire his work ethic.”

“I worked with his parents years ago. You remember Poe, right Benji?”

Ben just nods, keeping his eyes fixed on his plate. “Well, Ben’s working at First Order publishing. He got promoted to agent recently!” 

“Oh, that’s wonderful! And what a coincidence you’re both in the publishing business.” Maz says, with quite the mischievous smile on her face. 

“Small world.” Ben says, shrugging. 

“You’ll have to forgive Ben, he recently went through a tough breakup with his fiancé.” Han says, patting his son on the shoulder. 

“Dad, please. It’s been several months.” His eyes meet with mine momentarily, before he looks away. 

“I know, kid. But she really put you through the ringer. I never liked her, anyway.” Ben sighs, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. I hide my smile by taking a drink of water.

“Well, Rey’s been single for a bit now. That last fellow was a real piece of work.” I shoot a glare at her, and she just shrugs. “You know I’m right.” I don’t miss the look she shares with Leia. 

“Ben, you’re gonna be here for a while, right? You should really visit Rey in the city sometime. Catch up without us old folk around.” Leia grins, looking between Ben and I. 

Neither of us respond, avoiding looking at each other. I stand and grab my plate. “I’ll start cleaning up.” 

“Nonsense, Rey! It can wait.” My mother says, but I ignore her and walk back into the kitchen. I hear another chair pushed back, and a mumbled ‘ _I should get going. Nice seeing you, Maz.’_

“Benjamin!” Leia calls out, and then the front door slams shut.

  
__

  
  


After that disaster of a dinner, I make Maz promise me no more meddling in my dating life. She begrudgingly agrees, but reminds me she isn’t getting any younger and would like to meet her grandchildren before she dies. When I get into the office the next day, I’m joined in the elevator by Poe. 

“Morning, Rey. You look lovely today.” 

“Thank you.” I glance down at my outfit, wondering what he’s talking about considering this is the same thing I wore a few days ago (I forgot to do laundry yesterday, sue me). 

“Have you had a chance to think about my offer? It’s fine if you haven’t, of course.” 

I bite my lip, and decide to be impulsive. “I’ll do it.” I turn toward him and smile brightly. 

He grins, “That’s great. I really appreciate it.” He winks, before walking past me off the elevator. 

__

  
  


The day I’m supposed to leave for Coruscant for the conference, I’m running through my apartment, trying desperately to find something to wear. I need one formal outfit for dinner tomorrow night, and nothing I own is right! That dress from New Years would be perfect, but it has some mysterious stain I can’t get out. My red dress that makes my legs look amazing is nowhere to be found. Goddammit, why don’t I have anything to wear?! I suddenly get an idea, and run out of my apartment to my neighbor down the hall. 

“Rose, are you home? I need help!” The door swings open, with a frantic looking Rose. 

“What’s wrong?!” 

“I don’t have anything to wear.” I whine.

She takes a deep breath and holds a hand over her chest. “Jesus Rey, don’t scare me like that! I thought it was an emergency. Come in.”

“It is! I’m going to Coruscant this weekend and probably going to get laid! I need a good dress!”

She rolls her eyes at me, and ushers me toward her bedroom. “Well I know nothing of mine would fit, but Paige probably left some stuff here that will.”

Rose and her sister Paige had been roommates up until three weeks ago when the latter had moved in with her girlfriend. I’d met them when I moved here two years ago, and we’ve all been close friends ever since. 

“So, what kind of event is it again? Formal, or business casual?”

“Formal, it’s for a fancy dinner for the big publishing companies.”

She puts her hands on her hips, thinking. “I think I know just what to put you in.”

__

Several hours later, I’m checking into the hotel, when someone throws an arm around my shoulders. 

“Kanata! You made it!” Poe says, leaning against the check in desk. “Your room’s adjacent to mine. I have a meeting in about an hour, but you don’t need to be there. I was hoping you could just write up a draft of a speech I need to say tomorrow.” He rolls his eyes. “I don’t know why they insist on having the representative from every publishing house say something, no one ever pays attention.” 

“Of course, I’ll get that done for you.” I’m handed my key, and turn to grab my suitcase.

“Here, I’ll take this to your room for you.” He pulls my bag from my hand, guiding me toward the elevator with a hand on my low back. “But I was thinking, when I get back, would you like to grab dinner with me? I know a place.” He grins, raising an eyebrow. 

I ignore the flutters in my stomach, and nod. “Sure, that sounds great.”

“Perfect! It’s a date.” 

We go to dinner that night, at a nice place close to the hotel. Poe is pretty good at keeping up small talk, thankfully, because if it were left to me we’d have had a silent dinner. He asks me how I like being an assistant, I tell him I’d like to write my own book eventually but lack the time or motivation. I have two glasses of wine for my nerves, but restrict myself from a third so I don’t fall asleep later. He is very much a gentleman throughout dinner, and even offers me his jacket once we walk back to the hotel. 

When we get off the elevator to our floor, he asks if I’d like to come back to his room. I say yes, and feel a sudden panic, wondering if I remembered to wax. He seems to be trying hard to make it seem like he didn’t just invite me back here for sex, so I take the lead and kiss him. As far as first kisses go, it isn’t terrible-it has been a while, admittedly- and things move quickly from there. He helps me come first with his fingers, before quickly grabbing a condom and rolling it on. He quickly falls asleep afterwards and I sneak out back to my room. 

__

The next day, I’m sitting on my bed working on the speech when there’s a knock on my door. I open the door to a smiling Poe, offering me a coffee.

“Hope I got your order right.” 

“I’m not too picky with my coffee.” I shrug, taking a sip.

“I was a little surprised you weren’t there when I got up. You didn’t even stay last night, did you?”

“I’m not really a cuddler.” That makes it sound like I sleep around casually a lot, but I’ve only done it once. 

“Fair enough. How’s the speech coming?” I hand him my notepad, and he looks over it and nods. “Not bad, Kanata, not bad. I appreciate it, BB usually does this for me. I should get going, but I’ll come back to get you about thirty minutes before we gotta be at the place.” 

He leaves, and I’m just left with my thoughts. I hadn’t exactly expected last night to be anything special, but I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed. Like maybe I thought I’d be special, or something? But realistically, how many times has he done something like this? I shake my head to clear my thoughts, and decide I’ll start getting ready. 

__

I take Poe's offered arm, and walk with him into the venue. Rose and I had decided on a midnight blue sleeveless maxi dress, that settled into a deep vee a few inches above my navel. I curled my hair and left it loose around my shoulders. 

The place is decorated beautifully-albeit dramatically for just a publishers conference- with centerpieces of winter roses on every table. Poe waves to someone I can’t see, and guides us toward them. It’s a very tall woman, with purple hair twisted up into a French knot. 

“Amilyn, you look wonderful. It’s been too long.” Poe and the woman shake hands. 

“Certainly, Mr. Dameron. You’re looking very sharp yourself. And who’s this?” She glances at me. 

“This is Rey Kanata. She graciously agreed to fill in for my assistant who couldn’t make it.” 

“Pleasure.” I smile, shaking the woman’s hand. The two of them fall into a conversation about the latest top genres, and I zone out and look around the room some more. I don’t know anyone here aside from Poe, so I’ll probably be stuck by his side all night. I've never been a fan of large crowds, and I start wondering if getting laid was really worth all this. I excuse myself to grab a drink. It’s thankfully an open bar, and I decide to start with a glass of wine. 

“Didn’t expect to see you here.” A voice says close to my right. I jump, and turn toward them.

“Ben? What are you doing here?”

He takes a sip of what looks to be whisky. “I’m here representing First Order Publishing.” He glances up at me. “I didn’t think they’d send an assistant editor to represent Republic.”

“They didn’t. They sent Poe, I’m just here in place of his assistant.”

He snorts, “You’re here with Poe?” He looks me up and down, and then smirks. “Of course you are.”

I feel my face warm, and narrow my eyes at him. “What are you implying, Mr. Solo?”

“Nothing at all, Miss Kanata. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” He stands and turns away from me, but I’m not letting him get away that easily. I pick up my wine, and quickly step in front of him.

“What’s your problem, Solo? You wouldn’t even look at me at dinner the other night, and now you’re acting like a total ass.”

He huffs, “I overheard you, in the kitchen. Speaking with your mother.” 

“Well, that’s your own fault for eavesdropping.” 

“Really? Do tell, what on earth did I do? To deserve not only what you did, but for you to never want to see me again?”

“Well, speaking of things we overheard that we weren’t meant to- ‘I don’t care if she’s the daughter of your friend. I don’t want to be with her.’ Ring any bells?” I finish off my glass of wine, suddenly needing the liquid courage to continue this conversation.

He frowns and furrows his brow. “What are you talking about?” 

“I snuck out of my house to come see you, probably a week or so after we had sex. I overheard you arguing with your parents.” I laugh bitterly. “So you had just been pretending to be interested in me because it’s what your parents wanted, but decided it wasn’t fun anymore after I’d given up my virginity.” 

He just gapes at me, not saying anything. I roll my eyes and start to turn away from him when he catches my wrist. I shake his hand off and glare at him. 

“Get off of me.” He holds his hands up in front of him in surrender. 

“I don’t know what you think you heard, but Rey I wasn’t talking about you. They had been trying to set me up with a girl from our church. They had no idea I had been seeing you.”

“You’re lying.” I feel my lips tremble, but I refuse to cry. 

“I swear, you can even ask them about it.” There’s a look of desperation in his eyes.

“If that’s true, why didn’t you…. talk to me ever again?” One stupid tear slips down my face, and I hastily wipe it away.

“I tried! Whenever I went to your house, Maz just said you didn’t want to see me. I even tried asking your friends what had happened, they didn’t know either but told me just to leave you alone.” 

I shake my head, refusing to believe what I’m hearing. But it makes sense, his parents had been devout Catholics, and always made him go to church on Sundays. 

“I can’t deal with this right now.” I turn and push past people to get to the exit, ignoring Ben calling my name behind me.


	2. Where have you been all this time?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey storms out of the party, just wanting to be done with everything. She runs into Ben a little later 👀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff is happening 👀 
> 
> (See end notes for possible triggers in this chapter)

I make my way outside, leaning against the building and taking deep breaths. I hear someone calling my name again, and prepare to tell Ben to just leave me alone, but luckily it’s just Poe. 

“Rey, you alright? You kinda rushed out of there.”

I shake my head, rubbing my temples. “I’m just ready to go back to the hotel. I’m sorry, can you get through the rest of the night without me?”

“Nah, I’m done too. I’ll just walk back with you.”

“But, you didn’t even give the speech yet.”

He just shrugs, taking off his suit jacket to put it around my shoulders. 

“Nobody pays that much attention to them anyways. Whole point of this thing is to make friends with other publishing companies, but Republic doesn’t need much help in that department anyways.” We start walking back toward our hotel, and I slide my arms into his jacket. 

“Do you know much about First Order publishing?” Might as well see what Poe knows about them. Not that I care about the place Ben works at, of course.

“Not much. I know they sent Ben Solo, his mom worked with my mom forever ago. He never liked me, for whatever reason. Did you run into him tonight?”

“Sort of. We went to high school together.”

“Really? Was he just as much of an asshole back then?”

I snort, trying to cover the sound with a cough.  _ Really? I have to snort like a pig in front of Poe? _

“You could say that.”

We make it back to the hotel, and Poe holds the door open for me. We step into the elevator, and once it arrives on our floor, he turns toward me.

“Do you want to… come back to my room?” He raises an eyebrow at me.

“Sure, why not.” 

We get into his room, and he wastes no time pulling his jacket off my shoulders and kissing me. I let him take the lead this time, and try not to let my mind wander too far. 

_ Would Ben kiss me like this? I bet he’s learned a thing or two since we were teenagers. _

I feel the backs of my knees hit his bed, and I fall backwards on it. He kneels down, and starts pushing up the skirt of my dress. 

_ Ben has large hands. I bet they could fit around my waist.  _

“Rey?”

I open my eyes and lift my head to look at Poe. 

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay? You don’t really seem to be… into this. I don’t wanna make you feel pressured into this.” He sits down on the bed next to me, and I sit up.

“I… guess I’m not completely in my head right now. Sorry.” I scrunch my nose, fidgeting my hands in my lap.

“Hey, it’s okay! No worries. I can walk you back to your room?” 

“Thank you.”

He does indeed walk me back to my room, leaving me with a goodnight and a kiss to my hand. After I shut the door behind me, I drop my head against it.

_ What the hell’s wrong with me? I’m here in a luxurious hotel with one of the most attractive men I’ve ever seen wanting to have sex with me! And I can’t stop thinking about some dumb guy who broke my heart. _

I sigh, and walk into my bathroom to wash my face.

“I suppose he didn’t do it on purpose…” I mumble to my own reflection. 

“But he could’ve talked to me. There’s no way….”

_ Or maybe I’m just an idiot who jumped to conclusions.  _

Without giving myself much time to think about it, I grab my purse and take the elevator down to the lobby. I walk with determination up to the front desk.

“Hello! Are there other members from the Publishing conference staying at this hotel?”

“There are a few, yes.” The lady smiles, looking up from her computer.

“Could you tell me if Ben Solo is one of them? He’s from First Order Publishing.”

The lady frowns, “Unfortunately I’m not able to tell you that information.” 

“Please, could you just make an exception? I need to talk to him. Uh, about business stuff. My boss needs to talk to his boss.”

“I’m really sorry, ma’am, I’m still unable to help you.”

I drop my head down into my hands, and think about how much cash I brought with me. Maybe I could bribe her? 

_ Like you’d really have enough cash for that… _

“Rey?” My head pops up, and I turn toward that deep and sultry voice that will probably plague my dreams forever.

Ben stands a few feet from me, his tie undone and the first few buttons of his dress shirt unbuttoned. He looks like he’s been messing with his hair all evening, but of course it still looks great. 

“Hi. Um, I was just...looking for you, actually.” 

“Oh..okay. What do you need?” He shoves his hands into his pockets, taking a step closer. 

I glance awkwardly at the front desk attendant peeking up from her computer and no doubt listening to our conversation.

“Would you want to come to my room? To talk?” I gulp, worried he’ll just tell me to shove it, and storm off.  _ Much like I did earlier… _

“Sure. Lead the way.”

We ride the elevator up in silence, and I open the door to my room, with Ben following close behind. I toss my bag down on my bed, and turn to look at him; he seems to be looking everywhere but at me.

“I’m sorry I stormed off earlier. I was just… shocked, I guess.”

He nods, looking down at his feet.

“I can understand how hearing that conversation would have confused you. But, Rey, didn’t you know how I felt?” He looks at me finally, a crease between his eyebrows. 

“It’s not like you opened up about your feelings very often. You had to get one of your friends to even ask me out.”

“I was just a stupid shy kid, afraid the girl I liked would reject me.”

“Well, I was an insecure little girl whose parents had given me up! The thought that I wasn’t wanted  _ again  _ crushed me, Ben! You stormed out of there so quickly after we… ya know.” 

“Well, I’m sorry. I was embarrassed by how quickly I finished. When you see the tits of the girl you had been fantasizing about for months, you don’t last very long.”

“But still! You left, and didn’t talk to me! That plus what I overheard, what else was I supposed to think?”

“Rey, what the fuck does any of that matter now? That was almost ten years ago!”

“I can’t because it really fucking hurt, Ben! I felt used, I was ashamed! Especially because I thought I loved you!”

He takes a step back, blinking at me. “You loved me?”

“Yes, silly little teenage me thought I was in love with you,” I feel tears dripping down my face, “but I ruined it because I was stupid and insecure. Sorry I even bothered you, you can just go.” I start walking toward my bathroom, but am stopped by a large hand on my shoulder. 

“What do you think you ruined, exactly?”

I glance up at his face, his stupid plush lips and his stupid silky looking hair. 

“Us. I ruined us.”

“I never stopped. Having feelings for you.”

My heart feels close to beating out of my chest. I open my mouth to speak, but really I have no idea what to say. I had honestly thought about him more than I ever intended to over the years, wondering what could have gone differently. If you had told me a year ago I’d be here, in a hotel room with Ben Solo, I would have told you to fuck off! But now, I can’t stop my gaze from wandering to his mouth. He seems to be looking me up and down as well, and as he starts leaning toward me, I may just lean up on my toes to close the distance between us.

The kiss starts slow, tentative. Like he’s afraid I’ll change my mind. I bring my hands up to his chest, gripping his collar to pull him closer. One of his hands comes to rest behind my head, the other on my waist. I tilt my head to the side, to deepen the kiss. He groans, his hand sliding down to grope my ass. 

He leans away from me, “Rey, are you-“ 

I press my finger to his lips, and just shake my head before pulling his mouth back down to mine. My fingers slide through his hair, and dammit it’s just as soft as it looks.  _ Really need to find out what products he uses… _

I feel his hands fumbling around the back of my dress, looking for the zipper I presume. I drop my hands from his hair and undo the zipper on my left side, pulling the top of my dress down with it. Ben breaks away from the kiss, looking down at my now exposed chest. I find myself grateful now that I couldn’t wear a bra with this dress. 

“They probably aren’t much bigger from the last time you saw them…” I mumble, watching his face. He looks back up at me, his pupils wide and I shiver from the look he gives me.

He kisses me again, making his way down my neck, biting and then easing it with his tongue. My dress falls all the way off, bunching around my feet at the floor. He lavishes one of my hardened nipples with his tongue, making me gasp and push my hand through his hair, tugging gently. His mouth comes back to mine, and the next thing I know I’m being pushed back onto the bed. He quickly pulls his suit jacket off, tossing it behind him. I sit up to pull off his belt, and start to unzip his pants before he grabs my wrists. 

“Wait, please. Just let me…” I huff, and he rolls his eyes before gently pushing me back on the bed. He leans down over me, resuming his exploration of my chest. His fingers slide under the edge of my underwear, and he glances up at me. I just nod, starting to feel impatient. He wastes no time tugging them down and spreading my legs apart before settling between them. 

“God, you’re already soaked.” He says, before diving in head first. He laps at the gathered wetness, causing me to arch off the bed. My hands fist in his hair, urging him on. He swirls his tongue around my clit, and my legs fall even further apart. It almost hurts, how wide I’m spread open, but it feels amazing too.

“Don’t tease me, Solo. Please.”

“Are you gonna beg me, sweetheart?” I look down and see the smirk on his face, as his fingers move slowly through my folds.

I dig my heels into his back, groaning. “Please, please…. I want to come. Ben….”

He obliges, sliding one finger into my cunt, closing his lips around my clit. I feel the heat pooling in my belly, and throw my head back. My hips thrust against his face, and I swear I must be pulling his hair so hard some of it comes out. He adds another finger, curling them so they reach just the right spot inside me. 

I come with a scream, eyes squeezed shut and my toes curling. My thighs are quivering, and he keeps sucking on my clit as the aftershocks send shivers up my spine. 

“Is that what you wanted?” I grab his shoulders and sit up to crush my mouth against his, feeling his cock hard against my stomach. I can taste myself on his lips, and it makes me dizzy. I cup him through his pants, feeling a wet spot. 

“Do you want to fuck me?” I mumble against his lips. 

“God, yes.” He leans back and starts taking off his dress shirt, and quickly unzips his pants. Once his boxers come down, his length springing free, I know I must’ve misremembered how large he was. Or 16 year old me was a bad judge of this. 

He drops back down over me, and I reach down to line him up with my entrance. He slowly moves his hips, just the tip going in. We both moan at the sensation, and I wrap my legs around his waist. 

“You can move, Ben. I won’t break.” He thrusts forward, sheathing himself in me. I throw my head back, feeling split in two. I roll my hips, matching his movements. He practically growls, holding my hips as he pounds into me at an almost punishing pace. 

I grip his shoulders, moaning and whimpering as I quickly approach a second climax. I pull his face from the crook of my neck and slant my mouth over his. He snakes a hand between us, and circles my clit in just the right way that has me coming apart in his hands. I hear him curse before his thrusts become erratic and he spills inside me. 

We’re both panting as he lays down next to me.

“Rey… that was…” 

I nod, “I know. I know.” That was the best sex I’ve ever had. He’s clearly learned a thing or two since we were teenagers. I turn my head to look over at him, and his eyes are closed. He already looks on the verge of sleep. I feel ready to pass out myself, but manage to drag myself to the bathroom so I can pee first.  _ Who wants a uti, right? _

After I finish in the bathroom, Ben is definitely asleep. I hear something vibrating, and look around before realizing it’s coming from his suit jacket. I pull his phone from his pocket, not meaning to snoop but seeing his screen nonetheless. 

_ Three missed calls from Bazine _

_ Bazine: It was great seeing you last night. I hope we can work this out and move past everything. _

I set his phone down, wondering where I’ve heard that name before. I wrack my brain, and recall a few days ago when I was Facebook stalking Ben. 

_ Oh god, she’s the ex fiancé… or possibly current fiancé?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey don’t have any discussions about birth control before sex


	3. Feels like I’ve been waiting forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey confronts Ben about the text message, and it doesn’t go well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for this taking so long, I get an idea in my head and I just roll with it! But this is the last chapter, I hope you have enjoyed and thank you for reading!

_ I will not freak out, I will not freak out… _

I say that to myself as I pull on a robe and tie it around my waist. I glance over at Ben’s sleeping form, feeling my stomach drop.

Part of me thinks I should stay and ask him about it when he wakes up, but the bigger part of me wants to just leave and deal with it later. The non confrontational part of me wins, and I slowly get out of the bed and pull on my underwear. As I’m going toward my bag to get my clothes, I hear a groan.

“Rey?” 

I look at Ben, and he’s sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Bazine texted while you were asleep.”

_ So we’re getting straight to the point, eh? _

“What? You looked at my phone?”

I scoff and roll my eyes.

“Really? That’s all you have to say? It kept going off, so I pulled it out of your jacket pocket to check.”

I resume digging my clothes out of my bag, silently fuming. 

“I had lunch with her yesterday, she wanted to chat.”

“Right, and you were able to work things out and move past them. You gonna tell her you proceeded to sleep with someone the next day?”

“I-what? Why do you sound angry?”

Dropping my bag, I turn to face him. “What exactly did you work out? Your relationship?”

He’s looking around the room for his underwear now, and I pointedly ignore his morning wood.

“Why does it matter?”

I pick up his pants from where they’re laying next to me and throw them right at his face.

“‘Why does it matter?’ What kind of a question is that? Do you think I fancy sleeping with people who are engaged?!”

“It wasn’t our relationship we were discussing, it was… other stuff.”

“What stuff?”

He pulls his pants on, buttoning them before pushing his hair out of his face. “Stuff.”

I turn away from him, grabbing a pair of jeans and a shirt out of my bag before stomping into the bathroom and slamming the door closed. When I’m done, Ben is sitting on the bed looking at me.

“You’re just gonna walk out?”

“Maybe we can try this conversation again when you’re ready to be honest with me.”

Zipping my suitcase shut, I turn to him again, “Check out is at eleven, if I get charged for another day I’ll be sending you the bill.”

I don’t give him a chance to respond before walking out of the door.

—

Monday comes much too quickly for my liking, and I stumble out of the elevator two minutes until I need to be at my desk. I didn’t sleep a wink last night, I just kept replaying Ben’s and my conversation in my head. I was probably being over dramatic, but he was definitely hiding something. 

“Rey, there you are. I need you to take this up to Brandon on the fifth floor.” Mothma hands over a large stack of papers. 

“Right away, ma’am.”

“Oh, and grab me a coffee on your way back.”

I nod, and head for the stairs. I’ll have to go all the way down to the cafeteria, but whatever. Pushing open the door to the fifth floor, and someone bumps into me, sending my papers flying. 

“I’m so sorry!” I hear someone say.

I look up from the floor and see a man with dark skin, and very attractive features. He has a visitor's pass on his shirt, so he must be new. He bends down and starts helping me gather my pages.

“No big deal. I’ve done it myself a few times. I’m Rey, are you new?”

“I’m Finn, and kind of. I transferred here from the California office.”

“Nice you meet you, I’m the assistant of Mon Mothma.”

He hands me the stack he’s holding, and his eyes widen. “Wow, I heard she’s tough. I’m working in the tech department, so if you ever have any computer issues, I’m your guy.” He grins, holds out his hand. 

“Thanks Finn, I’ll keep that in mind.” I shake his hand, and we go our separate ways. 

—

Just my luck that there’s a long line for coffee, and it takes me an additional ten minutes to get back to my desk. Thank god Mothma is on the phone when I drop it off, so she just dismisses me with a wave of her hand. I have an email from Poe asking me to see him in his office, and if my frazzled mind bothered paying attention,I would see that it was from forty minutes ago. But obviously I missed that, so I swing open the door to his office.

“You wanted- oh my god! I’m so sorry!” I turn around, feeling my cheeks warm. Poe had his tongue down the new tech guys throat, and his fly was undone. 

“Rey! I thought you were just busy with work, wasn’t expecting you.”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve knocked.”

“I-I’m sorry, I’ll just head back to my office.”

Finn walks past me, avoiding eye contact.

“Rey, I’m so sorry. I really hope I didn’t give the wrong impression-“

“Stop, it’s okay. I know it was just a one time thing.” I turn around, taking in his red face a disheveled hair. He looks delectable, honestly, but my mind is still on a certain refrigerator of a man.

“I mean, it doesn’t have to be a one time thing. I wouldn’t mind doing it again.” He gives me a suggestive look, and I push my lips together to avoid giggling.

“Thank you, that’s very kind. But I’m okay.”

“Did you end up talking to Ben?”

“Something like that, but I don’t know if it turned out well or not.”

“You don’t know? How could you not know?” He pulls his chair out from his desk, taking a seat and motioning toward the chair in front of him. 

I sit as I think about how I’ll answer his question.

“Stuff… happened. There may have been a misunderstanding, and I stormed out.”

“What kind of misunderstanding?” He raises an eyebrow.

“I might’ve accidentally seen a text from his ex fiancé. It sounded like they might be back together, and when I asked him about it he wouldn’t give me a straight answer.”

He leans back in his chair. “There’s no way they’re back together, Leia would have mentioned it.”

“You’re on a first name basis with his mother?”

“Yeah, our parents go way back. We’ve been catching up over text the last few days.”

“Well, it would’ve been recently. Maybe she just doesn’t know yet.”

“I still don’t buy it, the way Leia said Ben talked about her,” he shakes his head, “I don’t see it happening.”

I huff, crossing my arms, “Well, I hope you’re right. But it’s still weird he wouldn’t be honest with me.”

“You mean the girl who he’s been pining over for years, who finally forgave him, or whatever happened between you two, and he wasn’t honest about his meeting with his ex fiance?” I see the corners of his mouth turn up slightly. 

“Okay, I didn’t come in here to be mocked. What did you even need me for?”

“Sorry, I’m not mocking you, I swear. But I think you should give him another chance.” He stands and looks around for a moment. “I can’t even remember what I needed you for, so never mind.”

I roll my eyes and go back to my desk.

—

Once I get home that evening, I drop my bag and coat by the front door and flop down on my sofa. I know Poe’s right, and I know I’m being dramatic. Maybe I’m just letting all the years of hurt cloud my judgement. I hear a raindrop hit the window, before it starts pouring outside. I drag myself up off the sofa and look outside, watching as everything outside is covered in rain. I see a car I don’t recognize pull up to the curb outside my apartment building, before a large person gets out and runs up to the door. 

_ Maybe it’s Ben... _

I quickly shake that thought from my head, seeing as he doesn’t even know where I live. But then my doorbell rings, and I look back at the window. I can’t see the tall someone, but if they’re at the buzzer I wouldn’t anyway. I go to my door and answer the phone. 

“This is Rey?” 

“It’s Ben. Can we talk?” I sigh, and buzz him in. Two minutes later, I’m letting him into my apartment.

“How did you even get my address?”

“Maz gave it to Leia, who gave it to me. I’m sorry, I just needed to explain myself. Me and Bazine are not getting back together, she just wanted to keep the house we were living in.” He runs a hand through his damp hair.

“That’s what you couldn’t tell me? Really?” I cross my arms.

“I was embarrassed, okay? I let that woman walk all over me, and then I even gave up my house. I was also just not thinking clearly, I found out that night that I might still have a chance with you and I didn’t wanna blow it.” He looks at me with his puppy dog eyes, and I already feel like melting. 

“Fine, maybe I forgive you. I might have overreacted a little, anyways.” I shrug, dropping my arms back to my side. 

He’s trying hard to fight a smirk, “A little, huh?”

“Don’t push it.” He raises his hands in mock surrender. “If we’re gonna keep talking, I need to get out of these work clothes. So give me a minute.”

I start toward my bedroom, and he starts following me, “Oi, you stay here.” 

“It’s not like I haven’t already seen you naked.” He walks over and sits down on the sofa, pouting like a scolded child. I just roll my eyes.

I change into my sleep shorts and old oversized t-shirt and go back to the living room. I don’t see Ben, so I call out for him. 

“Ben? Did you need the restroom or something?” But when I go to check, the bathroom is empty. I try to ignore the panicked feeling starting to rise, and walk to the kitchen.

“Ben, this isn’t funny where are you?” I just so happen to notice my apartment door is ajar. I run to it, flinging it open. 

“Ben!” I don’t see him, and quickly run down the hall and push open the door to the stairwell. I run down the stairs, wincing as my bare feet hit the cold concrete. I huff, still not seeing him in the lobby. I am, however, getting some strange looks from the people standing there. I ignore them and run outside, seeing a car pulling away. My stomach drops, and I call out his name again. The car keeps going, and I feel numb. From the rain or from the shock, I couldn’t tell you. 

“Rey, what the hell?” I hear someone behind me. I turn, and see Ben running toward me. I fling my arms around him, and he quickly pulls me into him, trying to wrap his jacket around me.

“I thought you left, oh my god I thought you left! Where’d you go?”

“I was taking out your trash, it was overflowing! Why would you think I would leave?”

I bury my face into his neck, sniffling. “I don’t know, I always think people are leaving me. My parents left, why shouldn’t anyone else?”

I feel my feet lift off the ground, and he pulls us under the awning of my apartment building. 

“Your parents were pieces of shit, they didn’t deserve you.” He pulls me away from his neck, holding my face gently between his hands. “I love you, Rey. So much. I will never leave you, I promise.” He wipes the tears that fall with his thumbs, before holding me tight against his chest. 

“Where are your shoes?” 

“I ran out in such a hurry, I forgot.” 

He scoops me up in a bridal carry, and I yelp and quickly grab on to his shoulders. 

“I can walk, Ben.”

“The ground is freezing, and you’re not even wearing socks.” I say nothing after that, letting him carry me up the stairs and back into my apartment. He still doesn’t set me down, and just stands in my living room.

“You can set me down now.”

“I don’t want to.” I look up at him, and before I can respond, he’s kissing me. I quickly recover, my hands slipping into his hair. It’s such a clumsy kiss, teeth scraping lips and tongue everywhere. 

“Bedroom.” He mumbles against my lips. I point behind me, biting his bottom lip. He just groans, before carrying me to my room. I expect him to toss me on my bed, but he sets me down gently, and kneels between my legs. 

“I’d like to actually savor it this time, savor you.” I feel flutters in my stomach when he says that, and I start undoing his tie. He pulls his jacket off, tossing it aside. 

“We still need to talk, but it can wait.” I tell him, unbuttoning his dress shirt. He just nods. Before I can pull his shirt off, he tugs my shirt up and over my head. 

“I must have masturbated to the thought of your tits so many times as a teenager.” 

He leans forward, blowing gently on one of my nipples until it hardens, making me shiver. He licks around before taking it into his mouth. My back arches, and I smooth his hair out of his face to really see him. Not wanting to leave the other unattended, he thumbs at it until it hardens too, then lavishes it with kisses. I’d never enjoyed men playing with my breasts before, but of course Ben would change that. I tug at his hair until he gets the message and leans up so I can kiss him again. His tongue lazily invades my mouth, and I push his shirt off his shoulders. My hands roam over his chest, feeling all the muscles beneath my fingers. He twitches slightly when my hand ghosts down his side, making me chuckle.

“Ticklish, Solo?” I smirk at him.

I squeal as he jumps on the bed, pushing me down on my back. He quickly reaches down and tickles my sides, making me laugh as I tell him to stop. I flip us, so I straddle his waist and hold his arms above his head. 

“No more of that, Benjamin.” 

“Really? I enjoyed it.”

“Bet you’ll enjoy this more,” I reach a hand behind me, cupping his erection through his pants. He hisses, as his hips jerk underneath me. I get a sudden idea, and reach over and grab his discarded tie. 

“What are you doing.” 

I wrap the tie loosely around his wrists, making it clear he can pull it off if he wants. I lean back, and he’s just watching me.

“Making sure you behave.” His eyes narrow, and he huffs. 

I stand over him and pull off my shorts, before kneeling next to him and removing his pants. I swing my leg back over, straddling his thighs this time. I stroke him up and down slowly, watching as his eyes flutter closed. I lean forward and lick the bit of precum at the tip, making him groan. I pull his foreskin down and lick around the head, enjoying the sounds coming from his mouth. 

“ _ Fuck,  _ Rey. I need to feel you, please.”

“You are feeling me,” I tease him as I continue stroking him.

“Need to fuck you.” He mumbles, his head thrown back. 

I use my knees and move over him, lining him up and slowly sinking down. We both sigh at the feeling, and I don’t move, just savoring the feeling until he starts moving his hips beneath me. I brace my hands on his chest, and start bouncing on his cock. I can see him clenching his fists, he clearly likes being in control. I reach up and untie his hands, and he quickly brings them to my hips and grips them tightly. I lean down and bite at his neck, making sure it leaves a mark. 

“Did you just give me a hickey?” 

“So what if I did?”

He sits up, and sucks at my collar bone, and I wrap my arms around his shoulders. 

“You’ll be marked too, then.”

“Good, I’m yours anyways.

“Say that again.”

He picks up his speed, his hands moving my hips at a bruising pace. I mumble out ‘I’m yours.” Over and over, until we’re both coming together, crying out with my lips pressed against his.

_ Two weeks later… _

“Mom, we’re here!” I call into the house, and Ben shuts the door behind us. 

“I noticed it last time, but she really has kept the house the same all these years.” Ben says, pulling my jacket off my shoulders.

“You know her, she hates change. That’s why my room looks like a shrine to my teenage self.”

“Now that, I need to see.” He smirks, and I smack his chest with the back of my hand.

“Behave, Solo.”

“Rey, Ben! I’m so glad you made it.” My mother says, as she comes down the stairs. “I’m glad Leia and I’s plan worked so well.”

“I’d hardly say it was thanks to you too.” I bend down so I can hug her, and she presses a kiss to my cheek.

“Wasn’t it, though? I’m pretty sure Leia mentioned Ben hadn’t planned on going to that work thing until he heard you were going?” Maz smirks, with a knowing look in her eyes. I turn to look at Ben, and he just shrugs. 

“Maybe, but I probably would’ve gone anyways.”

“Oh, just give me and your mother the credit we deserve!”

“Alright, alright!” Ben’s hands go up in mock surrender, and he leans down so Maz can hug him to. 

“Thank you, mom.” 

“Of course dear, of course. Now dinner will be ready in a few.” She waves us off as she heads back to the kitchen.

“Let me see your old room.” Ben tugs me toward the stairs. 

“We are not fooling around while my mom is in the house!” I tell him as we get to the top of the stairs.

“I guess you’ll just have to be really quiet.” He presses me back into the door, before turning the handle and shuffling inside. 

“Ben Solo, you’ll be the death of me.”

“That should be my line.” I just roll my eyes at him.

**Author's Note:**

> [Rey’s dress](https://www.lulus.com/products/legendary-evening-navy-blue-lace-sleeveless-maxi-dress/879522.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=879522&utm_campaign=PLA_gowns&pla=1&s_kwcid=AL%217824%213%21337837261632%21%21%21g%21899707387172%21&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsM7K9_Wl6wIVyEXVCh3mJQPDEAQYCyABEgKtjvD_BwE)


End file.
